![]() ![]() So right out of the gates you’re probably confused. Punchability Rating: 30% Personality / 70% Genetics We missed a lot of deserving stupid f*cking punchable faces on this thing that we regret… But that’s the challenge of making a narrow power ranking list with so many deserving candidates. ![]() The following is the official Sports Memery top 5 power rankings of punchable faces in sports. That same principle applies to the NBA with flopping. Every time a soccer player takes a dive to get a call they get a little more punchable. The term, I imagine can be applied to hundreds of European soccer players, so I’m not surprised its origins appear to be in Europe. Backpfeifengesicht, is a German word that means “a face that cries out for a fist”. Punchable faces are also not exclusive to the US. Arrogance is also huge, especially when combined with an already punchable face. If he throws one more player under the bus after a loss while patting himself on the back, the NBA may want to consider massive rule changes to accommodate players who cannot help but punch him in his stupid face. But with every passing smug post-game press conference, his face becomes more and more punchable. Lebron James for instance, doesn’t make our top 5 power ranking, because his face genetically is not all that punchable. Smug-ness is currently the number one risk factor for punchable face syndrome (PFS), especially when associated with sports. You can act a certain way to make yourself and your stupid f*cking face more punchable. Punchable faces are not just about what you’re born with though. It may become their medical recommendation that you forgo making a child under this circumstance, or at least it should be. Upon consulting with your doctor about conceiving a child, you may want to ask them if they have any urge to punch you at that time. Punchable faces are not exclusive to males, and anyone can pass along their stupid f*cking faces to their offspring. If you run into that person’s mother at a BBQ, it may be unsurprising to see that she is also very punchable. Some people are just born with a punchable face. Sniveling / rodent-like features like that of a rat also rub me the wrong way (i.e. Doughier faces mixed with really arrogant personalities seem to really bug me. What genetics came together so perfectly to make me want to slam my fist into the same place this person eats and sees through? Punchable faces come from a wide range of features. The most obvious, of course, is the face itself. What makes a face punchable? A variety of factors. In fact, you should rejoice that your body is so in tune with nature. It’s something that’s innate in us all that we cannot help, and you should not be embarrassed by your bodies natural reaction. The reaction you are experiencing is a natural response to what’s known as a “Punchable Face”. “I don’t know what it is about that guy, and his stupid face, but I kinda want to punch him.” You might say to yourself, in response to the unnerving visage before you that fills you with rage through no fault of your own. An irresistible compulsion towards violence against someone you’ve never actually met. The camera crew starts to zoom in on the incident, and upon seeing a player’s face close up, your body is filled with an indescribable angst you’ve never felt before. Suddenly a disagreement happens on field, or a fight breaks out, or a player throws a tantrum about a call. You’re sitting on your couch enjoying a beer watching a game. ![]()
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